When Friends and Family Don’t Book With You (And Why It’s Okay)

One of the biggest misconceptions new travel advisors have is that their friends and family will automatically become their first and best clients. After all, they love and trust you, right? You’d think they’d be the first in line to book their dream vacations through you. But here’s a hard truth many seasoned advisors know well: friends and family are not always your best customers. And that’s okay.

Even after 25 years, my own family and friends don’t always choose my well-established travel agency to plan their trips. It happens.

There are a few reasons why — and understanding them can save you from a lot of frustration and stress.

Reason #1) People Don’t Always Think To Ask
Travel planning can be impulsive. Someone might see a flight deal or hear a friend mention a great resort and book it in the moment, without thinking, “Maybe I should call my family member, the travel agent.” It’s not always intentional or personal. Sometimes it’s just habit or convenience.

Reason #2) They Don’t Understand How You Make Money
Many people still think travel agents charge fees or that we just give out free advice for fun. They don’t realize that we earn our income through commissions and service fees — and that by booking with us, they’re actually supporting a small business (ours!). Unless they’ve owned a small business themselves, they may not grasp how impactful every booking can be.

Reason #3) You Might Seem Too Busy
If your social media is full of posts like “So busy!” or “I’m slammed with bookings!” some friends or family members might assume they’re doing you a favor by not “bothering” you. They don’t realize that travel is your livelihood — and that helping them is part of what you want to do.

Reason #4) You Are Not Alone
If you find a group of advisors to talk to, I guarantee everyone has a story about a friend or family member who booked elsewhere — or didn’t even ask. You are not alone. Don’t get down on yourself. This can truly be one of those “it’s not you, it’s them” situations. Let it roll off your shoulders and keep going.

Reason #5) The Pandemic Was a Wake-Up Call
We all learned a lot during the pandemic — especially when friends and family who didn’t book with us came running for help after the online booking engine or big-box warehouse store they used left them on hold for 10+ hours. Suddenly, they remembered that having a real person to call made a big difference.

If they don’t recognize you as a professional — or they believe a company that sells toilet paper and cruises is on the same level as a trained travel advisor — they may need to learn that lesson the hard way. And when they come back? You get to decide if you take them as a customer. You are the professional here. You set the boundaries.

Reason #6) You Can’t Take It Personally
This one is tough, especially in the beginning. You might feel hurt or even betrayed when people close to you book elsewhere. But trust me — if you carry that disappointment with you, it’ll eat you up. The best thing you can do is let them. Focus on building relationships with clients who value your expertise and want to work with you.

So, What Can You Do?
Sometimes a little education helps. A simple post or conversation explaining how working with you supports your business can open eyes. Share what you do, how you help and the value you bring. But don’t beg for business, just be clear, helpful and professional.

And if someone chooses not to book with you? Smile, wish them a great trip and move on. Your energy is better spent building the kind of client base that truly sees your worth.

Because at the end of the day, the best clients aren’t always the ones who share your last name — they’re the ones who recognize your value and trust you to help them see the world.